Woman Honor Thyself

When women are depressed, they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking. --Elaine Boosler

Friday, January 06, 2006

Roles Shmoles


Well you heard it here first..women are different than men.

Many men seem to have little problem expressing anger-with words, with fists, with guns..
against women, against other men,against other NationS.
What they don't "generally"...(note I said Generally)acknowledge, is the underlying pain or FeaR which causes the anger or rage.
Women seem to be somewhat afraid of Anger, and most definitely afraid of expressing it to Men.
Whereas men in relationships have on occasion been accused of being tyrannical, controlling,hostile and overtly violent, women oftentimes have been known to be placating, excessively aplogetic, and too accepting of unacceptable behavior including infidelity, physical and emotional abuse.
Women will stay in a marriage knowing her husband is sexually unfaithful, blaming the "Other WomaN instead of confronting her own husband.
Is there a man alive who would do this? Cry himself to sleep night after night sleeping next to a cheating wife?..Is there a concept of the "Other Man"?..as there is the "Other Woman"?..or the male equivalence of a "Mistress"?..Of course not.
Women aren't allowed to "have a man on the side" and if their husband finds out she does, he will divorce her in an overwhelming number of cases.In addition, he often becomes violent toward her and her lover. Just the unspoken threat of male violence keeps many women from acting out in ways that many men do.."he would kill me if he ever caught me..."and that is meant quite literally.
The man will not beg, plead, "placate" and assume it is all his fault..he wasn't a good enough husband..he wasn't able to "keep her satisfied?"..his body wasn't good enough?..When have you have heard a man express that form of self hatred?
So...Why do women placate?
Some do it out of sheer fear. Of being kicked, punched, or worse..Heaven forfend..of "being left."
"I am worthless without him." No one else would want me..
This woman derives her sense of value only from the approval of a man..even an abusive one.
She also knows the odds of her finding another MaN may be slim to none...if she is not what society demands women to be....thin, youthful, sexy. What if she is older,or not what society claims is sexually attractive? She doesn't want to be alone and thus tells herself..Don't make waves.
Sure, there are men who are eager to please,and overly ingratiating, as there are womeN who are relentlessly critical and blaming as well as hostile.
But the consequence of the woman being the placater out of FeaR of the man -oftentimes leads to her resigning herself to a relationship in which she is disrespected,controlled, beaten or killed.
Perhaps women need to learn to FumE more instead of crying and sulking. Anger, when channelled properly- can be the FirsT step in finding our true self WortH.

2 Comments:

  • At 9:20 PM, Blogger Karl m said…

    i still have not figured out where it all went wrong...i believe in "the begining"..the created "equal "thing was the rage and we were supposed to live happily ever after....but then.?!?!..i sincerely hope that your writings reach a worldwide following...and then...perhaps the sanity that we desparately need will rule..instead of the insanity...

     
  • At 8:10 AM, Blogger Amy Allen said…

    You're right that society places demands on women, as well as men. Have you ever thought that these demands could be the source of the "differences" you assert?

     

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